Good morning Wild Ones,
As a child I was VERY particular about my baths. I remember how I would painfully play hopscotch around any hairs that I would find in the tub, get clean, and swiftly slip into my shower flip-flops which were meticulously aligned on the side of the bath. It was frequently an exhausting venture, but I did this for years without realizing why it was exhausting. Everybody takes baths. Why was I the only one feeling anxious as I traversed bath time like a Karate Kid extra? One day after thinking about it, I realized that I HATE hair sticking to my body- especially my feet. Even though I always knew I wasn’t a fan of hair, I had never realized that it was such a big problem to me. I was therefore unable to change my circumstances until I could name what I wanted to change. After I learned my dislike, I made sure to ask that hair was never left in the tub and that any hairs left on the bathroom floor be cleaned up immediately. My showering process became significantly easier after this because others became cognizant of the things that affected me and often made an effort to avoid them. But even when the people around me made no effort to avoid hair in the bathroom, because I knew my dislike, I was able to have control over my circumstances. If they left hair on floor or in the tub, I would just clean it or remind them. There were rarely times that I had to return to my exhausting hopscotch sessions in the tub.
This is the second part of the series on how to change YOUR life. Last part of the series dealt with the back bone of change- learning your personality type. This week continues with the concept of learning yourself, but is specifically targeted to learning your likes and dislikes. When we are not intentional about learning ourselves, it is very easy to be less discerning about the things that we truly like and dislike. We then have less control over our circumstances and ultimately our success.
Learning your likes and dislikes is not the simplest process; it requires being conscious of things that you have subconsciously ignored for possibly your entire life. So it takes work, but you’re worth it. This morning we’re going to discuss how to make this process the best for YOU. Last time in the series, you learned at least the basics of your personality type. So we’re going to use that to tailor the journey of learning your likes and dislike to who YOU are. If you have not read the last post on how to change your life, you can check it out by clicking this link Learn Your Personality Type.
If you are a reflective person, I would recommend you to simply think about your likes and dislikes. This sounds elementary, but I caution you to not be haphazard in your efforts. BE INTENTIONAL! Carve out some time in your day to sit down and ponder on what you like and dislike. Maybe you spend 10 minutes daily sitting in a chair that you have designated for thinking and learn about the things that make you happy along with the things that make you scared or angry or sad. Dr. Kelly McGonigal, a health psychologist, states that “During silence, the mind is best able to cultivate a form of mindful intention that later motivates us to take action.” Silence, based on what it provides your mind, can be the stepping stone for your life change. I do not know your schedule or your living environment, but this is about you. This is about you changing your life. It is important. I advise you to make a game plan; strategize. Take control over your environment by first learning the things that you need to change.
If you prefer discourse, I suggest that you to talk with a friend in order to sift out your likes and dislikes. If you would prefer not talking to a friend, talk to yourself. Many times it is more about hearing your ideas aloud than having another at the receiving end of those words. Discuss your problems with society, or that guy you like, or your parents, or that class. This reveals your surface issues, but you have to take time to thread out whatever deeper issues are there. From that mass of dislikes and likes what are the trends that you’re seeing? Is there a place that many of your likes or dislikes meet? But once again, I urge you to be intentional. Make a goal to either talk to somebody or yourself daily until you reach a point where you believe to have fleshed out the majority of your likes and dislikes. Remember to make changing your life and becoming the best you needs to be a priority because there are few things more important than this hefty task. If you are a bit suspicious of the concept of talking to yourself check out this post on Elite Daily ‘People Who Talk To Themselves Aren’t Crazy, They’re Actually Geniuses ‘.
Thinking and talking about your likes and dislikes are just the first steps. It is important to in some way chronicle the things that you learn. You do not necessarily have to grab your ballpoint and diary, but it is harder to forget the things that you have learned when they are tangibly placed in script. There are also psychological benefits of writing which can be very helpful in changing your life. Check out this post The Psychological Benefits of Writing to discover some of them.
If you prefer planning, I would advise you to make a list of the things that you like and dislike after either talking or thinking about them. This list does not have to be a bullet pointed list. It could be a Venn diagram, or a brainstorm web, or whatever works best for you. You are probably somebody who likes organization of your thoughts (which is independent of the organization of your outside world). Figure out how to best organize your likes and dislikes until they make the best sense to you.
If you prefer going with the flow, I would recommend that you journal the things that you like and dislike. Allow yourself to go where your thoughts lead you, and you will notice how much you can learn. Once again, a journal does not have to be on paper; it can be a series of notes in your phone or on your computer, it could be a series of little mental annotations that you place on a piece of paper, or maybe you could make a doodle journal to chronicle your findings. Whatever your methods may be, make sure that they work for you.
Although I have given specific advice to generalized categories, do whatever works for you. We all have bits of most of these personality traits, so you may be an introvert that has to talk things out or a judging personality that likes doodle lists. Mix-and-match until you find the perfect way to learn your likes and dislikes. This is just a stepping stone for the awesome change that you will soon see in your life, so continue tuning in and finding beauty in the wild extremities of your soul where sun rarely shines yet beauty blossoms full.